Commitment phobia – happens too often

A casual glance over reveals that commitment phobia is endemic in modern lives. It is related not only to relationships. We all practice it in various ways.
Most of the time, it is spoken in context of relationship. But that is just one aspect. As I looked deeper, I realized that its practice is deeply entrenched in my life. Before I became aware of this, I didn’t own anything – not even my mobile connection. Nor did I choose to put my name onto any venture. I called it ‘being a freebird’.
Offshoot of this fact was that I didn’t develop any leadership. What really bothered me was lack of achievements in my life. I thought this lack of achievement was because I was not accomplished enough. I was just a graduate with major health issues dogging me. These were just excuses, as I learnt. I started wondering if I was afraid to commit to achieving good health as it will knock this big excuse from my life. Without this excuse, I had no place to hide from lack of goals and achievements.
The day I realized this, it was like bottom dropped from my world. I felt so exposed. I didn’t have any further excuses unless I chose not to face the truth. Since then it has been an interesting journey. I am noticing that all of a sudden I am in situations where I am taking leadership role. All this while I thought I was not equipped for it but the reality was different. When the situations came up, I was doing pretty well. Large amounts of learning coupled with immense sense of achievement became the norm. Committing meaning putting oneself onto line to ensure that it became successful so not committing was easier but when committing, life was filled with zing.
And the best realization was that when I started committing, space for complaints reduced drastically. I was too busy trying to make things work to look and crib about non-working aspects. Everything became a game – to see how I could go past roadblocks. And once I was past them, it was celebration time.